Kimber J.

Healing is hard work.   The last decade of my life has been damaging in ways I’m only just now discovering.   Most of the scars I carry with me were self-inflicted either by purpose or by allowance.   For a long time, I pointed my fingers at different sources that caused my pain or crippledness (my word) .   Truthfully, I’ve only been hurt by outside sources a few times.   Most of what I’ve experienced is due to my lack of courage to speak my truth and stand by it.   I kept quiet for many reasons: embarrassed, uneducated, fear of the unknown, didn’t want to rock the boat.   Knowing these reasons doesn’t make my silence anymore justified, but it does help me shed some light on the “why” behind it all as I unpack my life and re-evaluate.   Now I understand that by keeping quiet and not sharing my truth I allowed damage to come into my life and set up camp.   Damage to my brain; damage to my heart; damage to my physical body.   As...

Today is just… I don’t know… Blah… Not a bad blah, but is there really a good blah?   I’m not highly motivated, I’m not depressed, I’m not anxious, I’m not over-elated about anything.   My neck is tense.   I have quite a bit of work to do and should really clean my house, but I just can’t find the energy; I can’t find the “want to”.   The weather is amazing.   I had lunch with a good friend.   My office is comfortable.   By all accounts it’s a good day, but I just feel… blah. In preparation for a presentation on classroom management I have to give next week I stumbled across a theory called the “happiness curve”.   It’s an age-old concept related to the idea of mid-life crises that’s turned more scientific since the 1990s and suggests an upward swing that comes in your later 50s.   The most interesting part is the article’s confession that mid-life crisis is determined by the individual and their own ideations of what life should be com...

My heart broke this morning in my devotional time.  The scripture for the day was Proverbs 18:24 – “ There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”   This wasn’t the scripture that broke my heart; it actually provoked deep thought and reflection on the “friends” I have who aren’t blood family but might as well be.  I am incredibly blessed.  Just a few years ago I didn’t have many friends outside of my family, and I am certain some of my family didn’t even want to be my friend.  As I have worked to dig myself out of a ditch of self-destruction and dysfunctional chaos I have been blessed with good friends who stick close to me like family.  After I read the daily scripture I turned to the Proverbs passage for the day.  Today is October 9, so I turned to Proverbs 9.  I read it.  Nothing rang loud and clear for me, so I did a rewind and read Proverbs 8, which was for yesterday that I didn’t read....