Kimber J.

How is my mind so fast?   Switching from thought and action and thought and action back and forth almost effortlessly; it’s amazing I’m not out of breath from all the activity.   Even when I’m sleepily driving to work before the sun comes up my mind is racing with thoughts without my knowledge.   Today, more than usual, I feel like my mind is a runaway train on a track to Nogood Town.   It’s like I don’t even realize I’m thinking and then when my thoughts get my own attention I am shocked about the nature of the ideas I am entertaining.   I had no idea I thought that way because I don’t think my emotions line up with those thoughts.   Or maybe they do and my conscious-absent thinking is telling me what I actually feel.   If that’s the case then I’ve got some serious work to do on my emotions.   Then, all this thinking is suddenly interrupted by knowledge that my debit card has been compromised to the tune of $228 in a single transaction. ...

The last few weeks I have been learning that the condition of my life boils down to one simple concept: choice.   For most of my life I have excused away this concept because I allowed emotions to drive my choices, which conveniently exempted me from accountability or responsibility.   It’s not that I was addicted to poor choices, but the choices I would make most often were dictated by the feelings of others or even the impact a particular choice would have on someone.   Basically I was living my life through the lens of approval from others.   I had zero desire to rock the boat, to unsettle something that was already unstable, to cause a scene or inflict discomfort in any way.   In my head, I thought I could only make a choice separate from an emotional connection.   If emotion was connected to the choice or if the choice was going to challenge the dynamic of a relationship then I would make the choice that caused the least amount of friction in or...

There are many kinds of trust: trust in yourself, trust in a system like government or the way your work department is run, trust in others, and trust in your personal beliefs or philosophy.   (I’m sure there are more kinds of trust, but that’s all I can think of right now.)   With so many varying types of trust it’s no wonder people have trust issues.   I’m no different.   (There. I said it.   I have trust issues.)   Trusting myself can be difficult because I don’t know that my thoughts and/or feelings are always telling me the truth.   Sometimes I’ll make a decision based on how my heart leads me and then later I find out that choice may not have been the healthiest choice.   Other times I’ll decide something straight out of my head only to realize later I was misinformed or less-informed.   Had I been given more information or if I would have taken a step back and thought just a little longer on the matter I might have made a dif...