How much of what I am feeling is new? How much of it is old? How do I know the difference? Does the difference matter? Parts of me feel strong: my resolve, my mission, my understanding of my history. Parts of me feel nostalgic; the what-ifs plague me. The thoughts of what might have been, what should have been, what I thought would have been give me no rest. It’s constant. And then I get a random break. The break is just long enough that I feel like the wondering and the reflecting and the recalculating are over. The break is just long enough that I am able to make new goals, establish new patterns, focus on a new idea. Then just as suddenly as the break came, it’s gone. Today, the break is gone. I feel foggy. I feel draggy… if that’s even a feeling. I know I’m not quitting and I’m not giving up the ground I’ve recovered, but I just don’t feel like a strong warrior t...
The journey of a girl becoming a woman.