Kimber J.

I’ve been here before.   I remember the rhythm of my heartbeat and how it would fluctuate between racing and barely beating at all.   I remember the way my mouth tastes and the way my brain is flooded with thoughts that make it difficult to follow one thought all the way through before another one interrupts.   I’ve been here before… many times.   Each time I am here I promise myself that I’ll never come back.   I vow and declare and swear that I’ll never allow this to happen TO me again.   I make choices and construct roadblocks to ensure that what I have promised myself becomes true.   All this work, and I’m back.   I hate being here.   I hate everything about this place.   I hate the deceit and the façade.   Even though I am an introvert and typically prefer being alone, this place is painfully lonely.   This place makes me feel like a stupid target who almost purposefully lines herself up with danger rather than ma...

Unlike the most common expectation, power is sometimes a subtle and rhythmic force.    The pulse of this offbeat power, for me, is found in recognizing patterns or sequences.   It isn’t loud or dynamic; it’s impressively compelling.   The mere existence of the pattern gives me no energy to speak of; no actual power is found in the pattern itself.   However, the exercise of putting the pieces together to make sense of a challenging situation charges me and I feel empowered.   For example: I enjoy listening to my husband talk about what he is thinking and then later he will tell me about a dream he had.   The two scenarios match up in my mind and we are able to make sense of something that might have been random or even confusing all because we pay attention to the power of details. Another example of recognizing this quiet power is noticing patterns with numbers.   Mike sees the number 11 on a regular basis, and even though I see it too there ...