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Lunchtime Lightning


Last week at lunch there were several of us sitting around, talking, and enjoying our various midday meals that ranged from dinner-the-night-before leftovers, peanut butter sandwiches, salads bought at the school cafeteria, and Sonic chili dogs. We had quite the feastly spread, and even though we do our best to enjoy the twenty-something minutes we get in between classes we still end up eating in haste, which probably does nothing to help our digestion; there just never seems to be quite enough time. 

Anyhow, one of the girls asked another teacher a question and called her by her teacher name, "Mrs. Person", then walked out to get a fork or something. While she was gone, Mrs. Person, made the comment that she really doesn't like it when her colleagues, especially the younger ones, call her "Mrs. Person". I asked why, and she explained that she understood it was out of respect that she/they called her Mrs. Person; she also knows the girl is setting an example for the students who are watching us.  It just irritates her, makes her feel old, and she wishes the girl felt comfortable enough to just call her by her first name when it was only teachers without students around. 

It was in that second that I had a revelation and I mentioned it to her before I could help myself. I simply said, "Maybe she doesn't respect you for who you are, she respects you because of who she is." At that comment, she was astounded. It took her a minute to compute what I had said, and while she was processing -- I was processing as well. It was like the words came out of me before I even knew what I was saying. At first I regretted saying anything because she just stared at me. Those two or three seconds felt like hours. It wasn't until she finally said, "Wow! You have just blown my mind!", that I was finally able to breathe easy and know I hadn't offended her with my pop-off comment. 

We had a brief exchange about it, but then the conversation took a turn to more current events and regular "girl" lunch chatting topics. Even though they were all talking, I was still in the throws of consideration. Do we -- rather, do I respect people on account of who they are? Or is it because of who I am? All this reminded me of the story Dad has told before about when he and a stranger lady were entering a restaurant at the same time. He stopped, held the door open for her, and made a comment that he would enter after her. She sternly responded that she didn't need a man to hold her door for her, and she was perfectly capable of opening it herself. He replied that he wasn't holding the door because she was a lady, rather he was holding the door because he was a gentleman. She didn't have much to say back to that. His comment wasn't meant to be quippy and sharp-tongued; it was truth. He held the door open because he knew who he was and what he desired to represent to others; it had very little, if anything at all, to do with her competency in the skill area of door opening. 

Back to the exchange I had that day at lunch -- it helped me realize AGAIN that it really doesn't matter who is in the room, or what office they hold in my life, or what they've accomplished -- I respect them because I respect myself. That doesn't mean that I approve of everything others do, say, or participate in. It does mean that I should seek to find it within myself to exhibit respect to everyone whether they warrant it or not -- simply and only because I respect myself. 

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