Last night as I caught up on reading a friend's blog I came across an entry that was written to herself, to her "younger" self from her "wiser" self. She recorded some of the things that she thought her "twenty year-old" self could have benefitted from if her "thirty year-old" self would have told her sooner. Being the time-travel junkie that I am, it was quite fun to read. (Kristine will probably disagree with me.)
Either way, her entry prompted an organizational scheme I've been trying to conquer in regards to documenting the highlights of each year in my twenties. It's no secret that I am rounding the corner of twenty-nine; thirty is staring at me square in the face daring me to blink first. My writer's block came into play when I couldn't decide how to present that decade in writing. I had been toying with the idea of making ten separate articles, but then I got nervous. What if I didn't have enough in one year to write about that would justly constitute a full entry? I mean, that's something legitimately important to freak out about...right? Nevertheless, I think I'll just keep it all as one big running record; one giant entry. This way no single year will feel deprived of attention or "awesomeness".
TWENTY
- Attending junior college, but not exactly sure why.
- Engaged to be married and looking at a complete life change with a new town, new family, the whole bit. So I quit my job of five years at Chiropractic Wellness Center to prepare for my new life. Once those plans changed I just picked up where I left off and continued on with community college. This time I worked for my uncle at Grace instead.
- Went to a women's conference with my mom and grandmother in the hills of Arkansas. I was glad to get out of town and take a break from the drama that plagued my mind, but YIKES! Women are scary.
- Still not sure why I'm attending junior college. No real major. No real minor. No real progress.
- Bought (one of) my dream cars. (Silver. Two-door. Leather interior. Wood grain dash. Sunroof. That was my criteria, and it just happened to materialize in the form of a Toyota Solara.) Paying bills was fun then. All I had to worry about was my car note: $165 per month. With the little money that I did make I budgeted for gas and new clothes. I still lived at home, so Dad covered the groceries.
- Went on the SDL Missions Trip "Y2K2". It may or may not have been more like a vacation where we just happened to volunteer at Brooklyn Tabernacle for a couple of afternoons that week, but nevertheless...super fun. That's one photo album I'll definitely run back in for if my house catches on fire.
- Suffered through the most painful eye infection imaginable. I remember Mom having to lay across me to drip the tiny fire-needles (a.k.a. eye drops) into my eyes every morning and evening. Even lamp light hurt my eyes; I had to walk around inside the house with shades on. Later we found out I had suffocated my corneas and they were blistered. Ouch. (Just say no to disposable contacts.)
TWENTY-ONE
- My parents threw me a surprise birthday party at a Hibachi Grill restaurant. I knew what was happening, but it was fun to watch them get so excited and to play along with the story. (This was their second attempt at surprising me. The first was when I turned 18. They were hosting an after-show party at their home for all the cast and crew following one of our world-renowned Easter productions of "The Road to Grace". I had other plans with my friends who mysteriously changed their minds just as we were headed to Bennigan's. Ahh... Bennigan's; I miss that place.)
- Went with some friends to hear another friend "DJ" at some venue in Katy. That turned out to be lame, so we went to a couple other places. Not really sure where we went, but I do remember the meeting we had with my dad a few weeks later. He wasn't happy with our choices. I think he was so shocked by my candidness after he called me out that he took me as being sarcastic and flippant instead of truthful. (Can you call it truthful if someone has to challenge you on it, and THEN you tell the truth?) I learned a good lesson there...Don't play Mom against Dad. That's never a good thing. Of course, it's not good to lie by omission either. That lesson was reinforced, but I don't think I learned that principle fully until a few years later.
TWENTY-TWO
- Took on a second job as a waitress. It didn't end well, and that's all I'll share about that.
- Continued to work for my uncle. By now we had really hit a stride; I loved being one step ahead of him. I think he liked it too.
- Lots of babysitting.
- Sporadic dating...mostly set-ups from friends or family.
- Lots of questions that seemed to center around the fact that I was single...very single. Grammy tried to comfort me with stories of how people badgered her when she was twenty-something and still single. They cheered me up, but I was still single and the man I truly loved was far away on a never-ending adventure.
TWENTY-THREE
- Planned and executed a surprise 25th Wedding Anniversary Wedding for my parents. Dad had the idea, then asked me what I thought and if I could handle it. Ten weeks later we were walking down the aisle at a surprise wedding for my mom in the main sanctuary of Grace with a complete reception to follow. Mom thought she was going to a Presidential Ball at the airport. Not so much.
- Casey and Kristine got married the very next day. I know their marriage changed their lives more than it changed anyone else's, but I'm still not sure they completely understand how much it altered mine. How narcissistic is that of me to complain that someone else’s marriage infringed on my life? It definitely redirected our paths, I'm not gonna lie. But I wouldn’t change it back to the way it was for anything in the whole world.
- Began dating a family-approved boy pretty seriously. I liked to hear him talk because he was very smart and I always learned something from him, but I couldn't stand the sound of his voice. (That's never a good thing.) I learned things like: when the gas light comes on in your hatch-back you should stop at a gas station immediately. Let's not wait until we are NEAR the top of a bridge to remember that the light came on yesterday so your girlfriend can help you push and coast over to the station. Or things like: if you are going to get married on a whim in Paris, let it be because you are fiercely in love with that person and not because it would be a good financial move judging from your current IRS tax bracket. I also learned that just because everyone around you is cheering you on and believing it's the right decision for you to make doesn't mean that they are correct. You have to search those things out for yourself. He really was a great guy. The only thing he ever did that I can truly hold against him was to abandon me in Europe while we were with his friends on a mission trip. That sounds derogatory, hateful, and unresolved. At the time I was lost (literally, I couldn’t make heads or tails out of Venice), confused (not exactly sure what to do in that minute), hurt (because I’d let someone in and they wrecked me), and very angry (mostly at myself). Looking back I realize he did me a favor. I learned so much about myself during the remaining portion of that trip and the 30 days or so that followed.
- I was maid-of-honor for Kendra and Dusty. It was quite interesting driving to the church that morning. Mostly because Kendra thought that would be a good day to start a new liquid vitamin routine. The liquid vitamin mix was red. She was nervous. It was eventful to say the least. In the end she had a beautiful wedding, and ended up with one of the greatest wedding photos ever: the entire bridal party jumping off the steps that skirted the front of the cathedral-like church. Fun.
- Hurricane Rita. This is the name of the "hurrication" my family took to Dallas when Rita followed Katrina. Dad was in Europe. We were in Humble. Dad flew across an ocean, changed planes, and waited through airport delays. He still beat us to Dallas. It took us 22 hours to drive 230 miles.
- My niece, Ella Jewel, was born. Until that moment I hadn't truly known love. People tell me that it will be different when I have my own kids, but I honestly don't know how you can love a child more. And now I have the triple blessing of also loving Lane, Madeline, and Apollo? or Elaine? or Macy? Not really sure what Blake and Amanda will name their baby who's coming in May. I’m really hoping it’s not Apollo.
I started this entry with the full intention of finishing it in one sitting. The truth is that my gym closes at 9:00pm and it’s 8:54pm right now. If I’m going to stay true to my resolve, I must go now.
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