I’ve been here before. I remember the rhythm of my heartbeat and how it would fluctuate between racing and barely beating at all. I remember the way my mouth tastes and the way my brain is flooded with thoughts that make it difficult to follow one thought all the way through before another one interrupts. I’ve been here before… many times. Each time I am here I promise myself that I’ll never come back. I vow and declare and swear that I’ll never allow this to happen TO me again. I make choices and construct roadblocks to ensure that what I have promised myself becomes true. All this work, and I’m back. I hate being here. I hate everything about this place. I hate the deceit and the façade. Even though I am an introvert and typically prefer being alone, this place is painfully lonely. This place makes me feel like a stupid target who almost purposefully lines herself up with danger rather than ma...
The journey of a girl becoming a woman.